


You Saw Nothing

by arandomshipper (Giveadogabone)



Category: Kim Possible (Cartoon)
Genre: Altered canon, Comedy, Gen, Parody, Ron is a dork, Shego is also a Dork on the DL, but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-28
Updated: 2017-04-28
Packaged: 2018-10-25 03:12:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10755549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Giveadogabone/pseuds/arandomshipper
Summary: A slightly altered version of the events in Go! Team Go!





	You Saw Nothing

"You hit him high?"

"And you hit him low."

Kim Possible and Shego had been on opposite sides of too many fights to count, but the appearance of the giant mechanical flamingo inspired them to momentarily put aside their differences to take out the threat. Kim used her stolen super-strength to fling Shego at the bird's head, where the erstwhile thief put her plasma-charged fists to work on the metal face, while Kim herself easily took out the legs her newfound powers. The flamingo went down, and the pair took a moment to congratulate themselves. They paid dearly for that moment of distraction from the real threat, as the power-sucking beam from Aviarius's staff struck them both, sucking out the blue and green Team Go glows from the females.

"BOOYAH!" Having seen Kim intercept the beam once to gain Hego's powers for herself, Ron, seeing an opportunity to fulfill a lifelong dream, replicated her accidental feat. He flung his body in to the beam just in time to be filled with the light of the green glow.

"Ooooh, you're in trouble now!" Ron yelled, pointing at Aviarius. "Prepare to be defeated by the greatest technique ever invented!"

He dropped into a martial arts stance, knees bent, both hands cupped at his right hip.

"Shinku..."

A ball of green energy appeared in his hands, pulsing and growing with his concentration. Kim and Shego looked on, openmouthed. "He's not going to-" Shego started.

"He totally is." Kim said disbelievingly. The ball grew until it was over half of Ron's own height. Aviarius's face was now full of fear as he backed away as fast as possible, trying to get distance between him and the suddenly dangerous sidekick without taking his eyes from the pulsing ball of death.

"HADOOOOUUUUUUUUUKEN!" Ron pushed his hands forward, palms facing his target. Aviarius yelped and desperately leaped aside just in time as a wave of plasma now taller and wider than him flew past. The ten-foot tall statue of himself that had been behind him was completely incinerated. As was the wall behind that. He took a trembling glance at the gigantic new hole in the wall of his lair, and fainted.

"Booyah! Score one for the Ron-man!" Ron fist pumped.

Shego deliberately stalked up to him and smacked him in the back of the head. "What do you think you're doing with my powers, buffoon?!"

"Uh, owwww? Using them like they should've been used, of course! I can't believe you've never tried that before! You've had plasma powers all this time and you've never done a hadouken? What a waste! It's the awesomest move of all time!"

"It is SO not! You'd never catch me doing such a stupid, moronic, infantile-"

"Yeah, sure." Ron smirked. "You say that, but I bet you're just mad cause you never thought of it. Well, now I'm the one in the driver's seat. I'm gonna do it every day now that I've got-"

Ron cut off as the beam from the staff of the recovered Aviarius hit him in the back. "Awwwwww."

 

***

With the shattering of the staff, everyone's powers returned to the rightful owners. "Ugh, Drakken, get us out of here fast!" Shego commanded, climbing onto the foot of the giant flying robot.

"You know you're going to try it now as soon as you get home!" Ron yelled as the robot took off.

"So not!" Shego yelled back, flipping him off as she faded from sight.

"She so is," Ron said, turning to Kim. She sighed in disgust and smacked him in the back of the head. "Ow."

 

___________________________________

 

Back at the lair, Shego, Drakkan, and a crowd of henchmen walked through the long corridor to the deeper parts of the underground building.

"Hurry, Shego, Hurry! Your next task is of critical importance!" Drakkan fussed. "That pickle jar is going down now." He muttered under his breath.

"Yeah, yeah, don't get your panties in a bunch, I'm coming," Shego said absently. Then something registered in her brain. "Excuse me, did you just say pickle jar?"

"Uhhh,"

"You know what, I don't even want to know. Just tell me what I'm doing when we get there."

"Yes, perfect. That's what I like about you, Shego. No nonsense, just taking care of business!" Drakken gushed.

"Sure, sure," She replied, her mind wandering again. Drakken continued talking, but she tuned him out, lost in thought. He and the henchmen soon outpaced her in their enthusiasm to reach their goal. She came out of her musings to find herself alone in the corridor, the door to the lair's gym nearby.

Overcome by a sudden urge, she quickly entered the gym and, with furtive glances, confirmed that none of the henchmen were making use of it, unsurprisingly. She took a deep, calming breath and dropped into a martial arts stance, both hands by her right hip.

"Kame-"

"Hey, Shego, I was just wondering if-" Bob the henchman wandered into the room looking at his clipboard. Before he even had a chance to look up, he found himself a foot off the ground, his back pressed against the wall, a hand around his throat, and most distressingly, another hand, glowing with green plasma, pointing with stiffened fingers right at his eyeballs.

"You saw nothing."

Drakken's henchmen are not known for their intelligence, but under the extreme duress, his mind kicked into overdrive and provided him with the right answer. "I saw nothing." He said obediently.

Shego looked him over suspiciously for what was the longest minute of his life, before finally saying, "Good," and dropping him to the floor. He sat where he fell, his flash of intelligence prompting him to ponder many things. He wondered what he was doing with his life, being the henchman of a madman. He wondered what exactly it was he had not seen that nearly costed him his life. He wondered where that awful smell was coming from. Upon discovering the answer to his last question, he came up with a new one: He wondered just how much a dark red jumpsuit would show stains of yellow and brown.


End file.
